Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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