I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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