I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
