I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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