as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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