I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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