just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
