this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
