We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
