I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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