in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
