when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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