Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
