doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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