i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
