I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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