And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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