i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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