Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
