If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
