doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
