Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
