go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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