I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
