i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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