is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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