Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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