After last night, I could never be a politician.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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