I think my fart just growled at me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When are your genitals available?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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