I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
