end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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