There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
