Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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