Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
