this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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