Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
