I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize