I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My pussy is not your playground.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
