worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
