Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
