My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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