just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I want a musical about memes.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
