There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
