So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
