You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
