Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
