return my video game
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize