We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
