i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
