Your mouth is God's brothel.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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