New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
