I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
