Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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