yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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