too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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