I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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