I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
