I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
