I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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