So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
