You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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