yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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