Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
