How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
