you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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