im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
