I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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